


We Are Who We Are; When No One's Watching

by HazzaMyLou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Beards, Bully Calvin, Confused Louis, Detailed labor, High School AU, Holidays, Homophobia, M/M, Morning Sickness, Mpreg, Mpreg Harry, Pregnant Harry, Pregnant Harry Styles, Sad Harry, Theatre Harry, footie louis, louis is an ass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-07 11:35:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7713460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazzaMyLou/pseuds/HazzaMyLou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Harry Styles had to pinpoint when his problems with Louis Tomlinson started, it would be kindergarten.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Where We Began

If Harry Styles had to pinpoint when his problems with Louis Tomlinson started, it would be kindergarten.

His class room was just across the hall from room 202, which just happened to be Louis Tomlinson's second grade class.

Harry was thrilled and excited for kindergarten. He loved learning letters and colors and how to tie his shoes.

He especially loved recess..that is, until Louis' class got assigned the same recess.

Harry was having the time of his life swinging and cackling until he was stopped abruptly by two hands.

He looked up and saw a brown headed, blue eyed boy with his two front teeth missing.

Harry LOVED new friends so he smiled at the boy widely.

"Hi I'm Harry! Sorry but this swing is taken."

"Hi Harold. I'm Louis."

"It's HARRY."

"I'm a second grader."

"I'm five!"

"You're a little baby."

Harry frowned at that. He was NOT a little baby. He knew how to dress himself and brush his teeth ALL BY HIMSELF.

"Am not! My mummy says I'm a big boy everyday!"

"You are. I bet your mum still helps you bathe."

Darn, that was true. But it was ONLY because Harry sometimes put a little too much water in the tub.

Harry frowned and jumped off the swings away from the mean boy.

Only..Louis' recess was ALWAYS the same time as Harry's..and he ALWAYS wanted to talk..and call him HAROLD.

When his mum picked him up one day from carpool, she noticed his sad features and pouted herself.

"What's got you down, lovely?"

"There's a second grader who calls me HAROLD even though I told him my name was HARRY. And he said I was a baby."

Anne frowns at that.

"You're my big boy, you are not a baby in the least. Let's go get some ice cream and prove it."

Harry nodded.

"YEAH BABIES CAN'T HAVE ICE CREAM!"

At the ice cream parlor, after Harry ordered a large cone of mint chocolate, his mum caught sight of a friend of hers.

This wasn't rare as his mummy has many friends but this particular one was different because running behind said friend was a brown haired, blue eyed boy with his two front teeth missing.

Louis.

"Jay! Hi darling! I haven't seen you in ages. How are you?"

And apparently with the birth of Louis' new sister, their old house wasn't big enough because the next thing Harry knew, Louis Tomlinson was moving RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.

He begged and pleaded with his mum to not make him go to their house warming party but his mum just softly patted his arm with a smile.

"Oh lovely. Louis only bothers you because he LIKES you. Jay says he's quite fond of you, wants to be your friend."

Which..that was quite confusing for Harry.

Why be mean to someone you LIKE?

Unfortunately, Louis and Harry's mums got closer, making the boys hang out nearly every weekend and sometimes even the week days.

But, lucky for Harry, Louis DID get nicer. He showed him his bug collection and his favorite movies and even held his hand when they were skipping rocks.

Harry began liking the older boy quite quickly. He thought he was the coolest boy ever, sort of like SuperMan or a PowerRanger.

Louis soon went off to middle school, leaving Harry behind in elementary school.

Still, the boy was sweet to Harry, showing him all kinds of neat stuff he learned in middle school. He showed him the right clothes to wear and taught him cool sayings that the big kids in middle school would say.

So when Harry got to middle school and Louis was on his last year there, Harry was excited.

Only.

Louis changed quite a bit when Harry got to middle school.

He didn't want to hold Harry's hand like he used to and actually began avoiding Harry for his new footie friends.

Harry was no good at footie, being a bit on the clumsy side and instead joined Theatre, loving being on stage and in front of crowds.

Obviously, Louis' friends didn't like theatre and often made fun of Harry for being in it.

They were the only ones though. Harry became quite popular due to his good looks. The boy had grown a bit taller and had a beautiful curly head of hair with big green eyes and dimples.

The girls all loved him. But the girls also loved Louis.

It hurt Harry deeply that Louis didn't want him around. However, whenever Harry and Louis were at home, out of the peering eyes of their classmates, Louis acted as he always had.

He held Harry's hand and even kissed him once. Harry felt butterflies when he did that but his heart broke a bit when the boy told him not to say anything to the lads at school.

Harry didn't understand why, he thought it was amazing. But, Louis was wise and knew loads more about school than Harry did, so Harry agreed.

Louis continued to ignore Harry at school but that was ok because Harry got his own set of friends.

He met Zayn in his art class and the two instantly hit it off. Zayn loved art the way Harry loved theatre. Zayn was also good looking like Harry so he had many friends as well.

Zayn was quiet and Harry was loud so they were the perfect balance.

Zayn and Harry met Liam in PE. The boy was strong and quick but Harry quickly learned how smart and dedicated to school he was.

He didn't play sports, more interested in learning and boxing. He was so kind that Harry and Zayn loved him from the get-go.

The three quickly became inseparable and Harry confided in them about Louis. Both boys thought that Harry deserved better but they agreed to keep their secret.

Louis became jealous very easily over Liam, Zayn, and Harry's friendship and sasses about it to Harry often.

Harry thought it a bit unfair as Louis had his own set of friends. He met Niall went he joined the footie team.

Niall thought he was absolutely hilarious and laughed at everything he said, making Louis like him immediately.

And now. Now all the boys are in high school.

Harry is in year ten and Louis in in year twelve.

If anything, both boys being in high school made everything ten times worse.

Louis sticks with his friends nearly all the time at school, meaning he's there every time the lads would yell obscenities at Harry.

Which, is a lot.

Harry quickly learned that he didn't want much to do with girls, only really wanting Louis.

No one at school knows about he and Louis but they do know that he fancies boys more than girls.

Everyone at school is cool with it, except for Louis' friends and by extension, Louis.

Harry KNOWS Louis doesn't like girls, KNOWS it's only a facade he hides behind at school to fit in with the footie team.

Niall is the only one of Louis' friends that's nice to Harry.

Louis drunkenly admitted his feelings for Harry to Niall one night. Thankfully, it was only him and Niall was understanding. He loves the boy anyway. Louis was horrified the next morning and BEGGED Niall not to tell anyone. Niall agreed, although he thinks it a bit silly and HATES when Louis just stands by when his friends are mean to Harry and his friends.

Niall doesn't say anything much to take up for them either, but it's only because the boy is mostly caught up in planning the next party and girls.

Harry and Louis' mums are still close and the lads still have dinner together weekly.

Louis only kisses Harry now when he's drunk and it hurts Harry deeply.

Louis apologizes in the privacy of their bedrooms to Harry for his friends' bullying and Harry forgives him because he loves him so, so much. But it still hurts.

Harry knows Louis goes to parties a lot and kisses girls. He hooks up with girls and then comes to Harry's house and kisses him. Harry knows but he still let's him.

Louis drunkenly promises Harry all the time that he just needs time and he'll come out soon enough and they can be together, but Harry knows it's just drunk words.


	2. Daddy Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis spot each other at a party

Harry doesn't go to parties much, opting to go to coffee shops to listen to local artists or art shows with Zayn.

He knows if he does go to parties he'll get to see Louis but the boy won't talk to him. And that's just torture.

But.

Tonight is Zayn's birthday and his parents are out of town. Although shy, Zayn is very well liked at school. He likes to drink and get high so obviously everyone likes him.

Except for the footie players but..they're not going to pass up a good party.

Zayn doesn't have to beg Harry too much when the boy learns that Louis will probably make an appearance.

He spends all afternoon styling his quiff and picking out a nice outfit. It's weird really because he sees the boy all the time.

"Zayn, please stop looking at me like that, ok? Maybe if I look really good he'll be ready to come out."

Zayn bites his lip from his spot on his bed.

"Harry, do you even HEAR yourself? He's using you!"

"I've known him his WHOLE life. He just needs time."

Zayn shakes his head but drops it.

"Whatever gets you to the party." He mumbles.

Zayn begins passing Harry drinks the minute he's finished getting ready. Harry's quite a light weight so the drinks hit him pretty hard.

Once the party begins and Zayn's house fills up, Harry's already plastered.

He giggles and dances around and hugs all of his friends, kissing the cheeks of every girl he passes.

He stumbles into the kitchen and nearly falls on his face when he's caught by two strong arms.

"Woah, feeling a bit drunk?" Liam asks, smiling down at his hazy eyed friend.

"I feel soooo good, Li."

"Do you? I doubt that'll last very long." Liam laughs, noticing the lad's pale features.

"I need...I need more, Li."

"I'm not so sure that you do."

"C'mon Li! T's just the beginning of the party. Live a littttttle."

Liam laughs and shakes his head, moving so the boy has access to the beers on the table.

He grabs one and chugs it down quickly. Liam laughs at him lovingly.

Harry turns to him and smiles drunkenly.

"I love you, Li." He falls into Liam's arms and the boy holds him up.

Harry hugs his muscular friend tightly, desperate now for the world to stop spinning around him.

"Ok H?"

"OH. Hello, Liam. Hi Harry." Louis says walking into the kitchen, rubbing his hands together with a smug smile.

Liam can still hear the jealously in his voice even though he tries to cover it up with cockiness.

"Louis." He says, jaw set and teeth gritted together tight.

Harry turns to him and rubs his eyes.

Louis tries to keep his breathing even as his heart races looking into the boy's eyes.

"L-Lou...." He says, smiling a bit.

"Harry." He nods, nonchalantly at the boy and goes to grab a beer.

He opens his mouth to say something else when his friends walk through. Louis snaps back into his "straight facade" and steps further away from Harry.

"Trying to make my boy Tommo here watch you two get it on?" One of Louis' friends, Olli says.

Harry rolls his eyes. Out of all of Louis' friends, Harry hates Olli the most. He's a ginger headed skinny twit who Harry could probably beat the shit out of if he cared enough to fight him. He follows the footie players around wherever they go. He's desperate for their friendship so much that he's always the first to start the taunting.

"Why are you even here, Olli? No one likes you and you don't like Zayn. This is his house and his party and you need to leave us alone or get out." Liam says, puffing his chest up.

Liam is quite muscular and Harry can tell Olli is a bit intimidated as he steps back with a 'whatever'.

"Come on Tommo. Harry might try to touch or something." Calvin, Louis' other friend scoffs.

Louis watches Harry for another moment before following his friends out of the kitchen.

Harry breathes out, putting a hand to stomach, suddenly nauseous from the alcohol consumption.

"It's ok, H. Don't let it bother you."

"I don't feel good, Li. M'gonna go lie down in Zayn's room until I feel a bit better." He swallows deeply.

Liam nods and steps aside to let him walk away.

Harry stumbles up the stairs and turns the fan on. He lies on his back and closes his eyes, waiting for the room to quit spinning so fast.

Somehow with all the noise downstairs, he drifts off.

Louis drinks until the thought of Liam and Harry hugging drifts from his mind. He hates how he is, if he's honest. In a perfect world, he would come out and be with Harry with no judgement.

That's not how life is though.

He looks around the party and doesn't spot Harry. He's not with Zayn, who's smoking a joint with a group of hipsters. He's not with Liam, who's participating in a keg stand and he's not dancing with any girls or guys from what Louis can see.

He doesn't know where he could be but he knows he wants him..badly. His father whom he hasn't seen in years called him this afternoon and asked to meet up soon. Louis hates him with a burning passion and just hearing his voice makes him angry. He just wants to see Harry, to kiss him, to make love to him.

He just wants him.

Once making his rounds again in search of him and coming up with nothing, he decides to go upstairs to look.

All the other doors are open upstairs so he knows he's not in them, so he must be in the one room with the door closed.

Louis says a silent prayer that he's alone and not hooking up with someone before turning the doorknob.

His heart swells when he sees the boy turned on his side, quiff messy above his head, lips parted and eyes twitching with dreams.

The boy he's loved since he was seven is sleeping during a huge high school party.

Louis gets on the bed after locking the door and lies down beside him. Harry twitches and his eyes blink open in confusion.

"Hey Hazza."

"What're you doing up here, Lou?" He asks, rubbing his eyes.

"I...I wanted to see you."

"But you couldn't until you were alone."

"Harry.."

"It's getting ridiculous, Lou."

"My dad called me."

Harry freezes up beside him.

"He what?"

"He..he called me. He wants to meet up."

"What'd you say?"

"I told him to fuck off and leave me alone."

There's a beat of silence before Louis feels Harry's arms around him. He feels himself relax instantaneously.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to ever see him."

"I know. I never want to. I'm sorry I ignored you downstairs, my friends you know-"

"You don't have to explain. I already know."

Louis' breath hitches as Harry's hands wrap around him.

He turns to him and plays with his lips with the pads of his fingers.

Harry connects their lips without permission and Louis melts into the kiss like its home...because it is.

They kiss for a while until Louis stops.

"Harry, are you as drunk as I am?"

"Threw up twice already. So I'd say I am."

Louis laughs breathily.

"I want to try something..but only if you're ready."

"What's that?"

"I want to make love to you, Harry."


	3. To Be Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry make love for the first time. Harry gets some news.

Harry's breath hitches.

"I...I've never.."

"Neither have I. But I want to..with you.."

"I...ok...if you're sure..."

It's beautiful really. Their bodies connect in such a way that it feels like they're on top of the world. Both boys know..they just know that they'll never feel this way for anyone else.

It's so overwhelmingly perfect that neither boy remembers a condom.

Louis finishes as Harry does and they lie with each other and cuddle.

"Lou..can I...can I be yours?"

"Course Haz. You'll always be mine." Louis says, voice sleepy.

"No Lou, I mean..will you come out and be with me?"

Louis opens his mouth to answer when both boys hear a creaking noise.

Louis flies out of bed quickly and throws his clothes on messily before bolting out the door without a word.

Harry bites his lip as the tears fall. The door opens again and Zayn sits on the bed beside him and he cries. He cries until he's dry heaving and then he sleeps.

Zayn says nothing.

\--

Harry wakes up and immediately gags. It's been two months since the night he slept with Louis. For the first few weeks he felt emotionally awful. He cried every night when his mum went to bed and every morning his eyes would be puffy but she wouldn't ask him about it.

He was so glad for that.

He felt angry the next few weeks, ignoring all of Louis' texts to come see him.

And now. He's been feeling sick for about two weeks. He's woken up every morning now by a crashing wave of nausea forcing him to the toilet.

He hasn't told his mum but he has told Liam and Zayn. They both think he should take a pregnancy test but he just can't-he really can't.

He's HORRIFIED by what the results might be.

He's pretty sure he knows what they would be, of course. It's the only explanation for getting sick every morning for so long.

Unless he's dying of some sort of terminal illness.

He spits in the toilet and wipes his mouth. He groans miserably, still feeling incredibly nauseous. He lies his head down on his clammy arms and tries to take slow, steady breaths.

He stands up, knees cracking and presses a hand to his stomach, whimpering.

He feels awful but he knows he can't miss school, he's got loads of tests and such this week.

He steps into the shower and let's the hot water rush over him. He pops the top of his body wash and gags again as the cinnamon aroma fills his nose.

And if he throws up again in the shower, well-no one has to know.

He walks down the stairs slowly once he's dressed, hand clasped to his stomach.

His mum sees him and smiles.

"Pancakes dear?" She asks, pointing to the table full of them.

His stomach rolls within him and he presses a fist to his mouth and shakes his head.

His step dad, Robin, looks at him in concern.

"Alright there, Harry?"

Harry takes a breath and nods, placing his hand back onto his stomach.

"I'm just..a bit sick to my stomach this morning."

"Are you sick, love?" Anne asks, placing a hand to his forehead, "You don't feel warm."

"No..something I ate probably just upset my stomach. M'all right." He says, shaking off their concerns.

"Do you want to stay home?" Anne says, rubbing his back.

"No. I can't, I've got so much to do today."

She nods.

"Ok but take it easy and lie down when you get home, ok?"

Harry nods.

School isn't much better. All the different smells around him make him even more sick to his stomach.

By lunch, he's had enough. Louis is huddled up with his friends at their usual lunch table and Harry's stomach is trying to rebel anything he tries to put it in it.

He sighs.

"Can we go home?"

"What?" Liam asks in shock.

"Calm down, Goodie two shoes. I really don't feel good. My stomach is in knots and I want to figure out what's wrong with me."

"How would we do that?" Liam asks.

"I need to go to the OBGYN."

Zayn chokes on his food.

"So you ARE pregnant?"

"I don't know!! That's why I need to leave and find out."

Liam bites his lip.

"Ok....lets...lets go, then."

It's sort of an out of body experience for Harry when the doctor tells him that he is in fact pregnant. His body goes numb and he suddenly can't breathe properly.

He's on the verge of a panic attack and his friends know it, holding him up and shushing him until his breathing calms.

The doctor looks sympathetic and guides them to the ultrasound room. Harry somehow gets upon the table and lies down.

"Lift your shirt, sweetheart. It's ok, it's all going to be ok, I promise."

He lifts his shirt, hands shaking like mad and looks at the screen.

He nearly shouts when the device is placed on his stomach, the cool gel shocking him back into reality.

"I'm sorry, dear. I should've told you how cold it was."

"T's ok." He mumbles and looks at the screen.

Liam gasps at the screen and Harry turns his head to him quickly.

"What's wrong?"

"I...I see it, H. The baby."

"Where?" Harry says, squinting and cocking his head to the side.

"There." The doctor says pointing to a tiny smudge in the corner.

It twitches and Harry gasps.

"That's it? That's my baby? That's not scary at all!"

The doctor laughs.

"Of course it isn't. It's beautiful."

Harry smiles, feeling tears at the back of his eyes.

"I...did it just move?" Harry asks, voice shaky, when he sees the smudge twitch again.

"Yes, you'll feel that in due time."

Harry smiles and sniffles.

"Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"

He nods enthusiastically and the doctor laughs again.

She turns a nob and a loud thudding noise fills the room.

Harry's heart warms within him and he feels himself lose it, tears rolling down his cheeks faster than he can control.

Liam and Zayn grab his arm and coo.

"Harry, it's ok! It's ok!"

"No, I-it really is beautiful."

Harry gets a sonogram picture and so do Zayn and Liam.

In the car, Harry's tears finally dry up and Zayn speaks up.

"So are you gonna tell him?"

"I...I mean..of course. I have to. I'm two months pregnant with his baby. He deserves to know."

"He's a right prick though, H..I mean..I don't know how he's going to react."

"He needs to know, Z."

"Are you going to tell your mum and Robin tonight?"

Harry shakes his head.

"I'm too exhausted tonight. I still don't feel all that great and I want Louis to know first. This is our thing, you know?"

Liam shakes his head.

"I don't know mate. I just don't feel like the 'Tommo' will be ready to jump into a dad role."

Harry shrugs.

"I wasn't either until I heard the heartbeat. I have to give him a chance."

Zayn rolls his eyes.

"Yeah because he's given you so many."

Harry's eyes fill with tears and he lets out a sob.

"Stop it Zayn, ok?! Just please...I can't handle this right now."

Zayn bites his lip and looks down before patting his mate on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry mate. It's your baby, you know what's best." He says.

Harry continues to cry and Zayn feels like the worst human alive.

"Come on Hazza. Don't cry. You know I hate it when you cry."

Harry wipes his eyes with the back of his hands and nods.

"M'sorry."

"No..no H, it's fine. You've got a lot going on. But we're here for you, ok? Every step of the way no matter what. Let us know when you talk to him, yeah?"

Harry nods and exits the car when they pull up to his house.

"Harry dear! How was school?" His mum asks with a smile.

Harry sighs.

"It was alright."

"Is your stomach feeling better?"

In truth, it really, really isn't because his mum is cooking some type of chicken and the mere smell isn't agreeing with Harry's stomach but he would never tell his mum that.

"Yeah, thanks. I'm just tired now. Mind if I nap before dinner?"

"Of course not, dear. Go on up and I'll call you down when it's ready."

He nods and ascends the stairs.

When he gets to his bedroom, he flops on the bed with a groan, rubbing his stomach to will away the nausea.

He looks at his phone and sighs.

Now or never.

He decides to text Louis as their current predicament doesn't make him feel confident enough to call.

"Need to talk. Tonight. Meet me outside my house at 11 xxx"

He sighs again and puts his phone on the side table before falling asleep.


	4. Too Young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry tells Louis the news

He wakes up from his mother calling him, feeling just as exhausted as when he went to sleep. 

He whines and rubs his face. This pregnancy is already taking so much out of him and he's only two months. 

He walks down the stairs, smiling sleepily at his mother.

"Feeling a bit better love?" His mum asks, rubbing his back.

"Mhmm. Still a bit sleepy."

"Yeah? You were clonked out when I went to check on you. How's your stomach? You look a bit pale."

"M'ok. Just want to eat and go back up to bed if you don't mind." 

"Of course, dear."

Dinner is a bit hard on Harry for two reasons. For one, the baby clearly doesn't agree with what his mum cooked and he's having trouble keeping it down. And secondly, his mum keeps talking about Louis and his family. 

It's pure torture and once he's finished half his plate, he rushes back upstairs as fast as he can. 

His phone is lit up when he returns to his room and he grabs for it lazily.

"Ok..is everything ok?" 

It's Louis. Harry groans in annoyance.

"No." 

-

He sleeps for another four hours, not moving an inch until his alarm goes off alerting him that it's time to go meet Louis.

He brushes his teeth quickly and fluffs his hair before spraying on some cologne (and dry heaving).

Once he's done primping, he goes downstairs quietly and sneaks out the front door.

Louis is waiting a few steps down from his house. Harry's not surprised he's painfully on time considering he hasn't let him come by any lately.

"H? What is it? What's wrong? Are you ok? Is it your mum? I..shit...Niall said you looked shit at school today and-"

"Louis, stop. I'm fine, ok? I..I have to...I need to tell you something.."

"What is it?"

"I...I'm pregnant, Lou."

Silence. Harry can practically hear Louis' heart beating out of his chest.

"Um...what?"

"I'm pregnant."

"W-who? Liam's?"

"Louis, shut up! How can you say that?! You know you're the only one I've ever slept with."

"It...it's...mine?"

Harry nods, putting his hands in front of his belly suddenly feeling self conscious.

"I...what are you going to do?"

"Me? What do you mean what am I going to do, Lou? M'gonna raise our baby."

"I...I....does your mum know?! She didn't tell my mum did she? Oh shit...this is awful."

"Louis. No..it's..it's not awful at all. It's beautiful. And no, I haven't told her."

"BEAUTIFUL? How can you say that? You're sixteen, Harry! I haven't even come out to my mum or any of my friends."

"Your friends are jerks."

"It still doesn't make it ok that I've been lying to them my whole life Harry!"

"I...you don't want it?"

"I'm barely eighteen, Harry! We're not even together."

"But..I...I love you."

"I can't do this...I feel sick..I...I've gotta go."

"LOUIS!"

"I'm sorry Harry, I just can't do it. Keep the baby, do whatever. I just..I can't."

"Louis!"

He's gone in a matter of seconds and Harry's world crumbles beneath his feet. He knew, he absolutely knew Louis was an ass hole, but never in a million years did he ever think he'd abandon his own flesh and blood.

Harry holds in his sobs until he's in the safety of his bedroom. It's then that he loses it, crying harder than he has in his whole life.

It's not fair. He's loved Louis for years and the boy never gave him anything in return. 

What's worse, he still has to see the boy day in and day out. They go to school together, they live beside each other, and their mums are best friends. 

No way is he telling his mum Louis is the father now. As much as he's hurt by him, he doesn't want to hurt his mum by ruining her friendship with his mum. 

For once, he's grateful for the pregnancy exhaustion and let's it overtake him. 

Two weeks later, Harry still hasn't heard from Louis. He's pretty miserable in all honestly, still sick to his stomach at all hours of the day and exhausted. 

He hasn't told his mum he's pregnant yet and he knows he should it's just-hard. And he wishes that Louis could be there for support. 

It's Saturday and he's so ready to spend the day in bed, only his dreams are quickly broken when he's woken up bright and early sick to his stomach. 

He sits up and puts a fist to his mouth, rubbing his stomach back and forth and trying to steady his breathing. 

His mouth starts to water and he moans miserably before stumbling to the bathroom. He throws up for what seems like years and dives back for the comfort of his bed.

He still feels nauseous but he's so exhausted and he just wants his bed. 

His mum knocks on his door two hours later and Harry answers with a moan.

He stuffs his head beneath his pillow when she comes in without a verbal invitation. 

Harry feels a hand on his back and tries to soak in the warmth.

"Darling? You awake?"

"Mmmmph."

She laughs and rubs his back again. 

"I'm just letting you know that I'm off to the shops with Jay."

"Hmm-k." 

"And Jay and Louis are coming over for dinner tonight when we got back." 

"Mhmm."

"Ok darling. I love you. Sleep good." 

She kisses her hand and places it on his back again. 

It's when she exits that Harry realizes what she's said.

LOUIS is coming over for dinner. Louis, the father of his child. Louis, the man who hasn't spoken to him since he told him of his impending fatherhood.

The thought sends Harry back to the bathroom for round two.


	5. Awkward Dinner Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Jay have dinner at Anne and Harry's.

Of course, OF COURSE, today is the day he's more nauseous than ever. He sits on the edge of his bed and rubs at his flat belly.

He's happy about this pregnancy but it's hard to feel anything but miserable right now.

He might be excited about being pregnant but everything else is shit.

Harry spends the day in bed, occasionally sleeping but mostly worrying and throwing up.

He's at least glad that he's home alone, able to throw up and not have to stay quiet about it.

Late afternoon arrives and he stumbles to the shower and brushes his teeth.

He puts on his Rolling Stones t shirt and his skinny jeans with the slit knees.

His mum calls him and let's him know she's on her way.

She comes home and begins cooking and that's when Harry starts to seriously doubt if he'll even be able to stay downstairs.

His stomach rolls and grumbles at the smell of whatever she's cooking and he burps sickly, desperate not to throw up again.

He presses his hands into his belly and leans over himself trying to breathe through the sick feeling.

His mum walks in and gasps, rushing over to him and placing a hand on his back.

"Are you alright, love?"

"M'fine but...mum, do you mind if I skip out on dinner? I don't feel good.."

She places a hand on his forehead again and sighs.

"No fever. But your face is so pale. What's wrong, dear?"

"It's just my stomach. It's really upset. I just want to lie down, do you mind?"

She shakes her head with a frown.

"Of course not. Do you want me to cancel so you can rest?"

Harry shakes his head.

"No, no. It's fine, really. I can't hear from my room. M'just gonna rest."

"Ok love." She kisses his forehead and he stumbles off to bed.

Louis is nervous. He's so, so nervous because he's seeing Harry tonight. It's not like he doesn't want to, he does! He misses the boy and he feels terrible for the way he reacted.

But.

He's just not ready.

He can't tell his friends he's with Harry and he CAN'T be a dad. He's still in high school!  
He loves Harry to death but he just can't.

So tonight should be interesting. He knows the boy probably hates him and he really can't blame him.

His hands shake as he opens the door out of the car. His mum smiles at him, blissfully unaware of the tension that's about to be bestowed on the both of them.

Jay knocks on the door, soft smile painted on her lips.

Anne answers with the same smile and shuffles them inside.

Louis looks around and frowns when Harry is nowhere in sight.

No one says anything about it until they're all sitting at the table.

"Where's Harry?" Jay asks nonchalantly but it has Louis' heart racing.

Anne frowns.

"He's upstairs. Poor dear wasn't feeling well at all."

"Oh no, Hay fever?"

She shakes her head.

"No, he was feeling a bit sick. Something has been upsetting his stomach for weeks now."

Louis' heart clenches. It really is true. Harry's mum obviously doesn't know that he's pregnant yet or else she would tell Jay, they tell each other everything.

Jay matches Anne's frown.

"Poor dear. Does he have fever?"

No. Pregnancy doesn't cause fevers.

"No, I've checked. He probably just needs rest."

Jay nods.

"Louis dear? Why don't you bring him some water and crackers to settle his stomach when we finish up here?" She asks.

Louis gasps silently but nods, looking down.

He doesn't say much at dinner and when it comes time to bring Harry his crackers, he's shaking like a leaf.

He feels like his lungs have collapsed as he stands in front of Harry's bedroom door.

It's odd. It shouldn't be this scary. He shouldn't be this nervous about someone he's known his entire life.

He knocks but doesn't get a response. He jiggles the door knob and realizes it's unlocked.

He walks into the room and his breath hitches once again at the site of a sleeping Harry.

His head is buried in a pillow and as Anne said before, his face is noticeably paler.

"Haz?" Louis asks quietly, despite his voice being just above a whisper he still diems it much too loud as if he might bust Harry's ear drums.

Harry takes a sharp inhale in and turns on his other side before cuddling back into himself and Louis bites his lip.

He loves him, he loves him so much and this isn't fair. It's his fault but it still isn't fair.

"Harry?" Louis asks again and let's himself reach out and touch the boy's arm softly.

Harry finally turns over and peaks his eyes open just a crack.

"Hmm?"

Clearly it doesn't register who exactly is in his room otherwise Louis knows he'd be a lot angrier.

"Harry, it's me-Louis."

Harry's eyes open all the way and he stares ahead, not at Louis but at the wall behind him, he doesn't blink, move, or say anything.

"Um...I just..I saw you weren't at dinner and..your mum said you weren't feeling well so I brought you water and crackers.."

"Ehm..thanks. Just put them on the table."

"Ok....um..so like...how are you?" He asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

His eyes scan the room and catch on the small piece of paper underneath a book on his side table.

It's a sonogram, he knows it. A sonogram of his son or daughter.

"Well, the boy I've loved since I was five abandoned me after taking my virginity and I'm sixteen and about to become a single parent. I'm scared to death to tell my parents and devastated at my current relationship. Other than that, m'nauseous, my head is pounding, and m'tired."

Louis bites his lip hard and looks anywhere but Harry's pale face.

"Um...I-"

Harry sits up suddenly and puts the back of his hand to his mouth. He closes his eyes and presses a hand into his stomach and breathes heavily.

Louis stands bewildered and nearly falls on his bum as Harry bolts past him into his bathroom.

Louis quickly goes and rubs his back until the heaving stops. Once he's done, Harry shrugs his hand off his back and stands up, brushing his teeth.

"You um...you know why, right? I mean...why I can't do this? No one knows that I like you, Harry..no one can know. The footie team..they'll kill me."

"Coward."

"Excuse me?"

"Coward. You're a coward. I don't need you, leave me alone."

"Harry, what if-what if I like..secretly helped you? Like no one will know but I can provide for the baby and hang out with you alone and stuff.."

"What? You can't be serious. No, Louis. No. More. Secrets. I'm done with that. I'm telling my mum I'm pregnant this week. I'm not telling her it's yours so don't worry but I just want to be left alone."

"But Harry-"

"My child WILL NOT grow up in secret, Louis. If you don't have the balls to be in a relationship with me publicly, that's fine. I want someone who's proud and thrilled to show me off."

"Harry, are you listening?! They will kill me! I..I can't let them know.."

"I don't care about your shitty friends or you anymore really. Sleeping with you was a mistake. Get out."

"But Harry I love you. I love you too, you know."

"That's not enough anymore. You don't love me enough to hold my hand in public and that says it all for me. I don't feel good and I don't want to see you."

Louis leaves. He wipes the tears from his eyes just as Harry tries to make his sobs silent.


End file.
